In all my years of picky eating and carrying around an
underweight, under-nourished body, I never knew I could be mocked for being
fat. You never know until it happens to you, they say. Yeah, you never know how
the other half of the population feels until you balloon up like Aunt Marge (Leave
the blog now if you didn’t get the
reference. Just kidding. Please stay, lone reader).
Whenever ‘fit’ (or just plain mean) people come across another human being with fat spilling all over his/her body frame, we wrinkle our noses in disgust and point out with our (oft unappreciated )wisdom that the person would be better off with some exercise and needs to get a grip on his/ her life. The worse ones among us go on to crack rude jokes about the ‘sad excuse for a human being’ in front of us. I used to do the same.
But what these two years of ‘not looking good according to society’s standards for twenty something girls’, have taught me is, the many forms of unhealthy your body can take from different illnesses, some of which you can’t even set right, no matter how hard you try. Conditions like thyroid do not always have a ‘follow this path and you’d own a Beyoncé body’ solution. People vacillate between hypo and hyper thyroid, medication alone doesn’t offer solutions and they feel trapped in their bodies when their metabolism gets pushed off normal limits. Some people find it painfully hard to shed just a few pounds even if they are eating healthy and following all the right books. Then there are some who are driven to depression (only if they aren’t already neck deep in it).
There have been days when I went to work, layered up in winter sweaters and jackets when every girl around me would be wearing thin, sexy, sleeveless clothing to beat the heat, when my skin would keep peeling off for more than a month (Last month, it bled for days from the dryness), I would wake up with puffy eyes(not from crying) and pain in all my bones, feel drowsy and energy deprived even after marathon sleeping, problems concentrating, a few episodes of forgetfulness, low blood pressure, water retention, severe bloating, IBS, just to mention a few(I swear). And i would cry at the slightest problems, still convincing myself that it was so only because I was depressed. To top it all off, my test results would only term it as ‘sub-clinical hypothyroid’. So, no, I didn’t even get the good stuff to help deal with the symptoms.
But I did get a lot of comments on my football appearance (even when I had gained 6-7 kgs and was still in the healthy range, as pointed out by doctors who grew sick of my anxiety). At my college convocation, not more than a couple of people talked about my job or future plans or congratulated me on finally moving to a brighter career. But they did talk about how I looked. And it made me feel awful, for I had already spent months crying over ‘myself’ and it wasn’t that I didn’t try to change. I did try eating healthy, took to some exercising but my circumstances and conditions, both physical and mental never let me continue for long. Now back home, taking a break, with moderate to light exercise and a healthy balanced diet, I’ve started feeling like my old self in just a few weeks. But not everyone has that luck. Many people suffer a lot of heartbreak because they just cannot put a rest to their deteriorating condition. The emotional stress attached to being fat picks at them like tiny needles, day in and day out. And some needles can be as bad as daggers.
Many of you (And here I assume that some people still read the shit I put up) might take this for a rant. Maybe some part of it is exactly that. But I do have one request, please be a little less judgmental, a little less harsh and cruel with your words when it comes to talking to, or about, fat people. You’re not in our fat shoes, and you have never really known what it’s like.
We might come across as sheer lazy, but you, yes you, could be more humane.
P.S. Love to the few amazing friends who loved me through thick and thin.
Wow. I’m really sorry for the awful puns.
Whenever ‘fit’ (or just plain mean) people come across another human being with fat spilling all over his/her body frame, we wrinkle our noses in disgust and point out with our (oft unappreciated )wisdom that the person would be better off with some exercise and needs to get a grip on his/ her life. The worse ones among us go on to crack rude jokes about the ‘sad excuse for a human being’ in front of us. I used to do the same.
But what these two years of ‘not looking good according to society’s standards for twenty something girls’, have taught me is, the many forms of unhealthy your body can take from different illnesses, some of which you can’t even set right, no matter how hard you try. Conditions like thyroid do not always have a ‘follow this path and you’d own a Beyoncé body’ solution. People vacillate between hypo and hyper thyroid, medication alone doesn’t offer solutions and they feel trapped in their bodies when their metabolism gets pushed off normal limits. Some people find it painfully hard to shed just a few pounds even if they are eating healthy and following all the right books. Then there are some who are driven to depression (only if they aren’t already neck deep in it).
There have been days when I went to work, layered up in winter sweaters and jackets when every girl around me would be wearing thin, sexy, sleeveless clothing to beat the heat, when my skin would keep peeling off for more than a month (Last month, it bled for days from the dryness), I would wake up with puffy eyes(not from crying) and pain in all my bones, feel drowsy and energy deprived even after marathon sleeping, problems concentrating, a few episodes of forgetfulness, low blood pressure, water retention, severe bloating, IBS, just to mention a few(I swear). And i would cry at the slightest problems, still convincing myself that it was so only because I was depressed. To top it all off, my test results would only term it as ‘sub-clinical hypothyroid’. So, no, I didn’t even get the good stuff to help deal with the symptoms.
But I did get a lot of comments on my football appearance (even when I had gained 6-7 kgs and was still in the healthy range, as pointed out by doctors who grew sick of my anxiety). At my college convocation, not more than a couple of people talked about my job or future plans or congratulated me on finally moving to a brighter career. But they did talk about how I looked. And it made me feel awful, for I had already spent months crying over ‘myself’ and it wasn’t that I didn’t try to change. I did try eating healthy, took to some exercising but my circumstances and conditions, both physical and mental never let me continue for long. Now back home, taking a break, with moderate to light exercise and a healthy balanced diet, I’ve started feeling like my old self in just a few weeks. But not everyone has that luck. Many people suffer a lot of heartbreak because they just cannot put a rest to their deteriorating condition. The emotional stress attached to being fat picks at them like tiny needles, day in and day out. And some needles can be as bad as daggers.
Many of you (And here I assume that some people still read the shit I put up) might take this for a rant. Maybe some part of it is exactly that. But I do have one request, please be a little less judgmental, a little less harsh and cruel with your words when it comes to talking to, or about, fat people. You’re not in our fat shoes, and you have never really known what it’s like.
We might come across as sheer lazy, but you, yes you, could be more humane.
P.S. Love to the few amazing friends who loved me through thick and thin.
Wow. I’m really sorry for the awful puns.
