i adore you because you own that car,that house,that face

A little shade of near- misanthropy crushes your otherwise human-heart and all that goes into the making of a soul, into mulch. It’s more like a pulpy mass whose stink can never wane off your breath, as long as you walk this earth. Add narcissism to the equation and your existence should be questionable. Well, not yours, but mine. Who are we kidding?

Humans, to me, have always been at the extreme – dirty edge when it comes to disgust causing-agents. Worse than cockroaches (no offense to you guys, but don’t even start an argument, you are creepy) And now that I find myself more and more surrounded by these mean, shrewd, calculating ,heartless butchers for people, I find myself helpless, left, defenseless to their ruthlessness and their mind-games and all such endeavors which draw nothing but spite, hateful spite from me.  So as I crumble, day by day, shrinking into a dark, forgotten space, some oblivion, I could happily pet a cockroach.

What seems shittier? That money and the power to hold 'more' in your hands is taking over the entire human species, or that this greed and obsession is all that defines a human being now? In between the gold-rush, the money-hogging, the luxury-rain, humans have been reduced to a sub-species. And that is what you ought to call the making of sub-humans, with exteriors as that of humans, and ethics, values, purpose, goals, work, rotting away, and the stench unbearable. The thought makes me dizzy.

Since when did we learn to set everything aside with our oh-so-judgmental eyes (and minds filled with all but bowls-full of crap), considering how much financial-value it held, to us and maybe to the fucked up stranger we happened to cross on the road, who was ‘low’ enough to be in possession of such and such thing, or ‘high’ enough by our cheap standards. In that one single flashing moment, when we crossed paths(or eyes) all that mattered to us was, the size of the bulge of his wallet. Oh fuck you, if you think this is laughable. But all situations considered and petty assumptions not even brought near to the subject, this is exactly what it comes down to. Money,luxuries,wealth, and then another blunder goes in as our doing, when we , low-lives take a step down shit-heads+ crap-mouths lane to think of success in terms of these parameters. I feel nauseated.

Vanity driven machines, cold, unfeeling zombies, that’s what has become of us. We are now accustomed to tuning ourselves in a way where we give not a tiny rat’s ass to the lengths we have to go to snatch away, what may or may not be ours. Filthy greed, 'the more the better' , the things we step over and crush in the process, aplenty.  Creating ego satisfaction points out of every little damn thing and thus, making the transition from egoistic to ego-centric individuals, because for each one of us,the nucleus that is running the world is ‘us’, our own self.

And to please thyself, lay not a fuck to the shameless trampling we undertake, envisaging a world where we alone matter. No other soul comes close, no matter how thick the blood or how all-consuming the love might be which flows between thy self and that other individual (who may or may not serve the sub-human paradigm). 

Impervious to the disgrace we bring to us all, we shamelessly carry on. Pseudo worlds, pseudo us.